Especially when I happen to be a writer of mostly opinion and make a fair amount of observations about life and all sorts of things that happen to us in it, you kind of have to at least have some modicum of advance knowledge that something you say to me, or do to me, or some situation you put me in may very well become fodder for something I write.
It's sort of like walking into Denny's and ordering a steak. You pretty much know what to expect from it. You can't order it expecting gourmet and be surprised if it's actually lousy.
That's going to be a Denny's steak. No surprise when you get what you get.
And the same goes for me. If you are in my company, expect that I am a writer and expect that the nature of what I write may include you in some form or another. If you don't want to be in my "story," don't offer me a reason to become my fodder.
Beyond that, being that I am strongly opinionated, and use all sorts of things around me to help drive my points home—and being a staunch supporter of the 1st Amendment as well as strongly of the opinion that no one has the right to NOT be offended—it's just not something I tend to care all that much about.
Oh sure, you can change names. But whoever you are actually writing about is still going to know who it is that is the subject of the commentary.
When I was in management, I used to have a very simple rule. "Don't tell me anything you wouldn't want upper management to know." In other words, understand that I have a different priority and a different obligation with regard to any information I may have at my disposal.
That is the nature of our relationship.
Truth is truth and I keep no secrets. And my opinions matter even if someone else doesn't like them or disagrees with them.
And that includes people who are around me on a personal level. I'm going to be real and tell it like it is. And because the main media of my expression is through the words I put on a page that happen to be published publicly; I am going to fill those pages as I see fit.
It is never something to be taken personal. And, it should be noted, it is never something done to be malicious or mean. It is simply me being me.
The thing is people talk all the time in their circles about all sorts of things and people. And while that may be considered somewhat of a closed circle of sorts, once something is uttered anywhere is it ever truly private and done in confidence?
No. In the real world, even sometimes the circle expands and something you held in confidence now becomes more public.
My writing, and the outlets in which I share what I write, are my circles. Just like in real life I know no circle is sacred, and word might get out—one should be aware that whatever happens in my own circle may also not be held in absolute confidence.
"If you didn't want John to know what you thought about what he did, and told Colin and Ray and Kevin, you can't be mad at Colin, Ray or Kevin if what you said happens to wind up landing in John's ear after all if one of them happens to spill the beans in another circle."
Like I said. I am careful. There are some things that are simply too personal. And I do avoid that. It is simply the "right thing to do."
At the same time, when I do write about someone personally, I have every expectation that it may well reach the person I was talking about. And if it is something I choose to share publicly, I am confident that I won't care if that person I am talking about sees it.
In fact, sometimes I want them to.
Besides, wouldn't we much rather live in a world where people are honest and open about their thoughts rather than keep secrets and tell the truth only to other people?
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